There's been something else in the works the last day or so - not only do my temples throb, but I've felt sick to my stomach and my lungs are heavy. Just reading that you'd probably think I'm just coming down with some bug or virus and making more out of it than is necessary. Unfortunately I know the difference within myself to recognize an energy drain versus an internal assailant. I also know this is external because I can put up my "shields" and the sensations stop. No, I don't really expect that to make sense so if you don't understand, that's fine. Again, I digress.

I was on a super-high yesterday morning, full of energy and on top of the world, unusually so. For that I do suspect the meds I'm on, as it had been a few days without them since I'd run out and only refilled them the day before. But I got to work and as I went about the day, I felt more and more drained, timid, and withdrawn. And it wasn't coming from me for a change (struggling with depression you know when the anchor is held in your own hands). I've had a suspicion about my work place, particularly some of the other employees, that things are not as calm as it's pretended to be. People don't necessarily worry me much these days simply because it is easier to block myself from them (or simply not have to deal with them if our shifts don't match), but what I am concerned with is the fact that some of the foreboding might come from the building and land itself. THAT is much more difficult to contend with. Direct, physical contact always enhances my ability to pick up and read the energy, and of course my feet are *grounded* so whenever it is the building I'm like a direct conduit to whatever has been amassed. Sigh. I realize this all sounds spaced out and whacked. Really, it is pretty logical when viewed from a physics perspective, but most people aren't convinced of that yet.

*** Side Vent ***
It's difficult to explain something that is as natural to me as my vision or hearing. If someone told you that seeing was some "phony, sci-fi" thing and you couldn't possibly have the ability, how would you try to defend your eyesight in light of their blindness, ignorance, and fear?

*** End Vent ***

Anyway, so I'm not certain if the energy drain is restricted to a few employees or if everyone feels the effects because it is the place and it is only amplifying the behavior in those few that naturally draw energy from others and/or thrive in turmoil.

However, what *really* is bothering me is why can't I shake it now that I'm home? Today, in fact, has been worse. It seems I've got a siphon attached and I need to disconnect it before too much longer. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you think I'm loco at this point and let me assure you that you aren't the first to think so. Fortunately I've spent most of my life fighting the attitude within myself and have come to my own acceptance about my abilities. Being an empath can sometimes be a gift and sometimes a curse.

Where the hell was I going with this? I'm not feeling well and I'm worried. Yeah, that about sums it up.

Mood:

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