What I've been struggling with is the potential between us and the reality of what he's offering and choosing at this time. We both knew from the start that neither of us was ready. What has amazed and disappointed me is how the potential has made him entrench even deeper into his own situation and push me away, where it has inspired me to BECOME ready. Just shows you that no matter what, we all have free will and it is our choice on what we do with the gifts being offered. When we were together, he told me "This is a new way of relating and a new way of relationship." I wrote in my other journal, questioning this and stated, "How is all of this new? It feels like the same old way to me." Then again I've been working at this level for a long time and he's new to it all, so perhaps it is new to him.

I asked the Universe the other night before bed what the point is of us meeting at this time, what is this relationship, is it something I continue to nurture or something I walk away from. When I awoke in the morning and looked for my answer, the response was "It is what it is." Talk about a bullshit answer! How was that supposed to help me? Needless to say I was ticked and even more out of joint, but aware enough to let it sink in. Over the course of the day it did, and I had to admit it fits. He's my ground (as in with electricity, you always have a grounding wire), like it or not [and believe me I'm not that wild about it given a few other things I haven't mentioned] but he's not my partner. "It is what it is." Another way of telling me to quit trying to mold it into what I see or want or need and just accept what is. Which I'm getting better at doing.

Doesn't mean I have to like it. Which of course the Universe just laughs.

Mood:

0 comments so far

previous - next