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I had an epiphany yesterday regarding Big Red. Was the kind you smack yourself upside the head, though. LOL I realized I've been so wrapped up in the situation (more than has been warrented) because I've been trying to win his approval. Why? Because I respect him, like him, I'm attracted to him, and overall felt like he could/would "validate" me somehow. Yeah, heavy duty and made me cringe inside. Rather than berating myself for my feelings, I've decided it is a positive thing because now I know, I'm aware of it, and I can work towards validating myself since apparently I'm lacking that sensation within. Positive growth! And yes, positive growth needs a healthy dose of B.S., too. ;) Mood: Still searching for a state of grace - 2006-10-04 State of Grace - 2006-10-02 Endings, beginnings, and juggling the middle - 2006-09-29 Big Red comes to town - 2006-09-28 Diary template created by rainfalls. No longer an active d-lander. Want your own diary? |