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So this is a letter for someone that will never see it; someone that I could fall for, head over heels, someone that matches everything I am looking for in a partner with 3 exceptions: he hates the rain, he lives a thousand miles away, and he's not wild about cats. Why do these 3 matter? I live where it rains, and he has to live where it is sunny. He doesn't live nearby, so there is no chance of spending time together outside of brief online (work) interactions. The last is important because I have two cats that are my babies. I suspect he wouldn't mind them if he got to know them (my 2 boys are just that cool). But hating the rain is a deal breaker. He hates the rain like I dislike extended sun. But this isn't about my feelings for him, this is about what I've sensed from him and things I wish I could say but would never be believed if I tried. I know nothing about her other than what little you have mentioned, but I know she hurt you deeply. Or rather, you were deeply hurt. You said you used to wear your heart on your sleeve but had been burned too many times to continue. I still see a very kind, compassionate man, who wants to love and be loved, wants very much to have a family. A man who recognizes that a woman's confidence and strength enhances her beauty, her intelligence compliments his, and together they are stronger than they are each apart. The young women you have shared your heart with have not appreciated your depth. Few men ever reach your level in their entire lives, much less by the age you are at. You have so much to offer that I can only hope you will hang on long enough to find the real woman that will embrace you, rejoice in you, and show with all her heart how incredible you are. If I can't be her, than may she treasure you as dearly as you treasure her. It is hard to be sensitive and strong when so many are shallow, so many take advantage or abuse, or worse - ignore - the precious gift you have. My heart aches for you, recognizing your pain and knowing the right one is out there even if you disbelieve it. That these women have been lacking, not you. Know, believe, with everything you are that there are women, true women, that will find you so amazing that her joy in being with you will shine in everything she does with you. I envy her. If I could change anything, it would be to love the sun. Or for you to love the rain. If only. Remind me to quit wishing for things outside of my control or placing my expectations on the outcome. Stranger things have happened. Heh.
Mood: Homeless? - 2009-12-10 Painful admission - 2009-09-23 Unconditional love - 2009-06-06 Inspiring Procrastination - 2009-05-11 Diary template created by rainfalls. No longer an active d-lander. Want your own diary? |